Lessons from Sheldon Cooper on Self-Love. Not.

Ok so if you don’t already watch The Big Bang Theory (TBBT) you should start, especially if you appreciate sarcasm and good humor. The bunch of crazy scientists will give you good education plus entertainment.

My favorite character is Dr Amy Fowler, an incredibly patient neurobiologist who is in (stupid) love with Dr Sheldon Cooper and probably the only one who can put up with him and his crazy personality and ideas (like having a relationship agreement they swear and live by).

Sheldon is the main star of TBBT and may well be the favorite of many; understandably so: without him there may be no show. Sheldon is narcissistic to a fault. He lacks humility or empathy, constantly voicing out his superior intellect. He has no appreciation of irony, sarcasm, or humor, the main reason why he is funny (the irony!). Sheldon’s ‘self-love’ is manifest in his arrogance and inflated ego. He says his memoir will be tentatively entitled “You are welcome, Mankind”. Yes, “You are welcome, Mankind”.

So Sheldon may not be the best example of a self-love standard afterall. (Admitttedly if we all could feel that good about ourselves without discounting the emotions of our loved ones and denigrating them, we would be on a good path). I admit the perfect balance between self love and narcissism is not the easiest of things to achieve. There is a natural tendency to give out more to others than we would to ourselves (even if we have to pretend to) in order to not appear selfish and self-absorbed.

I am not one to fall for “10 ways of doing this”, “30 ways to achieve that” etc…( I find out that people deal with things differently BUT I will write out (ironic isn’t it) 8 (couldnt make it to a perfect 10) things I try to do daily so as to practice self-love (#Progress #Not Perfection).
1. My senior high school days were probably one of the difficult times of my adult life. I don’t think I was very happy with the person I was, the opinions of people mattered to me more than they  should have. I learnt (I don’t remember where now) to keep a record of the positive things (compliments) as well as the negatives (criticisms). I did it for about a year, I probably should go back to it. It was one exercise that put things in perspective formed and help build a good self-esteem.

2. I was taught this by a dear friend, Find something to be grateful for every day (and write it down). Life, family, friendship etc… You will be surprised the many things you have overlooked. The difficult days are inevitable. On the days when nothing comes to mind to be grateful, and you are having difficulty finding at least one thing, be reminded of life.

3. A very obvious way is to surround yourself with people who love and encourage you and are honest with you. The key to a healthy sense of self is reminders from honest people who love you, remind you of the amazing people you are and also keep you in check with your short comings. Even if there is only one person, someone thinks you are Amazing!! And there is someone who can tell you the truth as it is to your face.

4. Find your happy place. Where’s the one place you feel totally at ease, calm, happy, positive & high on life. I find mine at the beach.

5. Let go of past trauma and wounds. Self-explanatory. There is no need to hold on to negative emotions.

6. Be realistic. There is no person on this earth that is happy every single moment of every single day. You know why? Because we are all human. We make mistakes, we feel emotions (good and bad) and this is OK. Allow yourself to be human.

7. Stop the comparisons. There is no one on this planet like you, so you cannot fairly compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you.Give up the need for approval from others. “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” — Dita Von Teese

8. Be patient but persistent. Self-love is ever evolving. It’s something that needs to be practiced daily but can take a lifetime to master. So be kind and support yourself through the hard times.

Whitney Houston said it best in her hit song:

“I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed at least I’ll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me they can’t take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all inside of me
The greatest love of all is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all.”


"I am not insane, my mother had me tested" Sheldon's favorite statement to explain himself and his IQ.
“I am not insane, my mother had me tested” Sheldon’s favorite statement to explain himself and his IQ.


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